General @ Wednesday September 21, 2005 10:00 pm by WunderKraut
JetBlue flight 292 did NOT end up in a deadly fireball on a runway at LAX airport. CNN is reporting that they are extremely disappointed that BushMcChimpHilter intervened on behalf of the doomed jetliner, thereby saving the 139 people on board.
Judy BubbleHead, CNN spokesperson issued the following press release:
We are extremely disappointed that the plane did not crash into millions of pieces upon impact. Think of the ratings and the millions in add revenue we lost all because BushMcChimpHitler called on KKKarl Rove to save the passengers. The Dark One then conversed with Satan himself and struck a deal. Hurricane Rita could have Galveston if he would spare this flight. We here at CNN wish to express our extreme outrage that this crisis was averted.
If BuchMcChimpHilter can save a doomed jet full of rich, white Republicans, then why did he do so little to save New Orleans? I think we all know the answer to that one.
Howard Dean removed his head from his hindquarters long enough to demand, “What did Bush know and when did he know it?”
John Kerry, vacationing in France, insisted that he had a plan all along to deal with doomed jetliners that would make Bush look like the chimp he is.
In other headlines, news agencies around the world let out a deep sigh of what might have been, shrugged their shoulders, packed up their gear and left LAX for Galveston to search for further proof that Bush does not like black people.
One is reminded of the classic Don Henley hit Dirty Laundry:
I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundryWell, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don’t have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundryWe got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you ’bout the plane crash with a gleam
In her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry
/sarcasim
10 Responses to “I Blame Bush”
That was a great post, Mike. But I hate Don Henley and will be pissed at you all day for getting that song stuck in my head.
Yeah, I do not like him much either, but that song is truth. Pure and simple truth.
Sorry about that. Do I need to send you an mp3 of a different song to clear that out?
No, no. I have plenty of stuff. I was kidding.
That was great! Hey you guys shoulda watched ’so you think you can dance’ last night. I still have the song “maniac” from flashdance in my head.
and now i pass it on to you:
she’s a maniac maniac on the floor
and she’s dancin’ like she’s never danced before.
Hello Mr. Islamic Extremist?
Yes, I need a Fatwa issued on a person. How much will that run me?
Done.
Crotalus, you now have a Fatwa against you for crimes against good taste. That song is worse than the damage I inflicted on Cullen.
Well, as you can attach beautiful women to both songs, it’s not quite that bad.
Do you guys know the story behind that song? It’s pretty freaky ~ we were in LA when the whole thing happened.
Do tell THS, do tell.
Cullen, I remember a beautiful women in the flash dance song, but Dirty Laundry? I do not recall.
Best Flash Dance parody is Puss in Boots singing karaoke at the end of Shrek 2.
Nicole Kidman plays an aspiring TV personality in To Die For. The theme song for the movie is Dirty Laundry.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114681/
IMDB bio:
Suzanne Stone (Maretto) knows exactly what she wants. She wants to be a television newscaster and she is willing to do ANYTHING to get what she wants. What she lacks in intelligence, she makes up for in cold determination and diabolical wiles. As she pursues her goal with relentless focus, she is forced to destroy anything and anyone that may stand in her way, regardless of the ultimate cost or means necessary.
Ah, but that’s not the story of the song. In 1980 Don Henley was arrested at his Los Angeles home for giving an underaged girl cocaine and Quaaludes for sexual purposes. When the story broke, the local evening ‘news personality’ read the story and proceeded to lecture about rock stars and their disgusting roue habits, especially the way they took advantage of impressionable young girls. Her name was Christine Lund, who had a trademark platinum helmet/bubble head coif (a la Rita Cosby before the make-over), and she was a big time anchor/news reader on KABC TV. Henley was consquently aquitted of the charges, felt pretty abused by all the tabloid journalism and righteous posturing Lund had done before he even went to trial and wrote ‘Dirty Laundry’ as paybacks.
Lund is long gone, but we’re still singing the song.