Life is hard and often times does not make much sense.

Last year, around this time, a couple in our church lost their baby son just days before he was to be born. The anguish and pain can only be imagined. Having to go through labor KNOWING that your baby was already dead. Then to hold him in your arms. All your hopes and dreams…gone.

Today we received news about a couple who is adopting their daughter from China. Apparently, their daughter got sick and passed away this past Friday. What a shock and a blow. The couple was just weeks away from going to bring her home.

This hit close to home as my wife and I are also in the process to adopt our daughter from China. We are awaiting our referral. This couple had already received their referral. They had a picture of their daughter. They knew how old she was and they were just weeks away from heading to China to bring her home.

Now she is gone.

Please understand that she was not some child out there who was going to be “lucky” enough to come to the U.S. No, she was this couple’s daughter. The loss they are feeling is comparable to the loss one would feel from losing their biological child. I know you may not understand this phenomenon, but it is true. I wrote about how I feel about the adoption here. You will notice that we feel that our daughter, even though we have not seen her, is OUR daughter. The day we receive our referral and see her picture will be like the day each of my children was born. It will be her birthday. It is hared to explain. But that is how we feel and that is how this couple felt.

They showed off her picture like any proud parent. They had her nursery ready. They prayed for her at night. The bought clothes and toys for her.

But she will not be coming home.

Here is what her parents wrote concerning how they feel:

As you can imagine, we are hurting greatly over this loss. Although we never held her in our arms, our hearts were already joined to hers. Although we never heard her laugh or cry, we held her picture and imagined the sounds she would make. Although there is tremendous sorrow in our hearts, there is exceeding joy because we know she is in Heaven where there is no more pain, and she has experienced an even greater adoption as a child of God!

I could not have said it better myself.

Amen.

But still, my heart is heavy and broken.

Please keep this family in your prayers.

God bless you little MaryAnne Jin Breedlove. Rest in peace.

February 26, 2005 - December 23, 2005
Jiangxi Province, China