This is too funny:

Police use stun guns on greased, naked student

Oh, this is just toooooo good.

A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said.

Now, I am sure that being hit with a stun gun WITH clothes on hurts like a son of a b*tch, but I can’t imagine the pain of being hit on your naked, greased body. Ouch.

Officer Doug Staysniak was monitoring the lunch period when Killian [our greased up streaker], with long hair and a full beard, ran in the room toward students, who screamed and ran away.

Not a good sign that everyone screamed and ran away.

Killian is in jail and charged with inducing panic, public indecency, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

Inducing panic? Heh. I did not know that you could be charged with that. I guess that is the last time I yell “FIRE!” in a crowded movie theater. Stupid laws.

The best quote ever:

“That prank went a little farther than he intended, I guess,” Gaylor [poor kid must have caught hell as a kid] said.

Oh, I don’t know. Let’s think this through.

Hey, you know what would be really cool?

What if I went streaking through the lunch room?

Better yet, why not grow a full beard and grease my body up so I look like the bum down at the bus station. That is sure to get some laughs.

Then why not run around screaming and flailing about?

Man, this is going to be sweet. I will be remembered forever.

Ok, here is goes.

Alright, I am all greased up and heading to the lunch room.

Oh man, I can’t wait.

Great, everyone is here. There is Jodi, man she looks hot today, I bet this will impress her.

Off comes my coat. Now start running!

This is great, I have never felt so alive!

Odd, everyone seems to be scared. They should be laughing. After all, it is cold in here. Oh well, I will keep running!

Heh, here comes the rent a cop. Let’s seem him try to grab my greased up body.

Best. Idea. Ever!

Oh wait, he is not tackling me. He is reaching for something. Oh my God! No!

ZAP

The pain, the pain….must get up and keep running….

ZAP

Me? I blame George Bush.