After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see Ive been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
cause there aint no one for to give you no pain

I’m just sayin’.

So, I got a project out the door this week.

The project itself was very straightforward:

All told, the construction drawings were only 6 sheets: Cover, General Notes, three Design sheets and one sheet of typical details.

Doing the design and preparing the construction plans was the easy part. Here is what I had to do in order to get the project out to bid:

1. Request Account Number – me
2. Assign Account Number – Finance
3. Enter Requisition – me
4. Prepare Contract Documents – me
5. Review Contract Documents – Procurement
6. Assign DBE Goal – Office of Small and Disadvantaged Business
7. Revise Contract Documents – me
8. Schedule Pre-Bid Meeting – me, Procurement
9. Schedule Bid Opening – me, Procurement
10. Send Contract Documents To Printer – me
11. Print and Bind Contract Documents – Print Shop
12. Send Construction Plans To Printer – me
13. Print and Bind Construction Documents – Dougherty Blueprint
14. Advertise for Bid – Procurement

That is what it took to get the project out to bid. Once the bids are opened I have to work with Procurement to prepare the Agenda Item for the City Commission Work Session. I have to attend the Work Session and present the Bid for approval. Hopefully they will vote “yes, but” because it is just a Work Session. Then I have to attend the night meeting, which is where the official vote will take place. After they vote to approve the project, I have to schedule a Pre-Construction meeting with the contractor and issue the Notice to Proceed.

All of this for a $100,000 project that will take less than 60 days to construct. That is as long as it will take to bid and make it through the City Commission.

Ah, but that is the life of a Bureaucrat. When you are dealing with the Public’s money, you have jump through all the hoops to make sure everything is on the up and up.

But, I figured I would let you catch a small glimpse of my life.

South Georgia got nailed last night by tornadoes.

There was one that tracked about 10 miles south of my town and a BIG one that hit Americus, about 35 miles to the north of here.

My wife went to college in Americus and she was giving me the run down on all that was destroyed.

Luckily, the loss of life was not as bad as it could have been and thankfully, our town was spared.

Me and the boys:

Jeff at The Shape of Days has a great post up on nuclear weapons. He does a fantastic job of navigating the questions I hope our leaders are constantly asking themselves.

It is a tough nut to crack and I have often pondered the same things. Go read his post. It will make you think and will probably keep you up at night.

But, he does end it in typical Jeff fashion. Which is one of the reasons he gets mentioned so often in these posts:

Sure, we could comfort ourselves by remembering that it was the enemy regime that started it, and by telling ourselves that their blood is really on the hands of the evil men, now deceased, who put them in harm’s way. We could even pat ourselves on the back for having the courage to take decisive steps when no morally acceptable options presented themselves.

Would it help? Would you be able to sleep at night? Would I?

The sad truth is that I probably could. But this means nothing. As we’ve seen time and time again, my personal capacity for tolerating atrocity is humiliatingly high. The fact that I, personally, could rationalize it all away and go on with my life doesn’t mean it would be right.

“Humiliatingly high”

Yes Jeff, you do have a way with words. Keep it up.

Check out previous editions of “I Wish I Had Written That”

It can be hard to keep a positive attitude at work. I know you will be shocked to hear this, but even here at the City, morale can be a problem. I guess it goes to the age old problem of feeling underappreciated.

I am doing fine and actually since I am up for a promotion, I feel very appreciated, albeit a bit under paid. But still the bulk of the people I work with are not very happy with work right now. I guess you have to have something to complain about.

Luckily it is not this bad:

Heh.

I must have missed something. If I remember correctly, our “pals”, the Euro-Weenies, have been beating us up for the past few years about President EvilChimpyMcHitlerBurton and his “attempts” to turn America into a Fascist state. They cite things like the Patriot Act, detainees and other things that will “infringe” on Civil Liberties.

Explain this Monsieur Grenouille:

PARIS, France (AP) — A new law in France makes it a crime — punishable by up to five years in prison — for anyone who is not a professional journalist to film real-world violence and distribute the images on the Internet.
—
“This makes France the Western country that most infringes on freedom of expression and information — particularly on the Internet,” the group said in a statement on its Web site, www.odebi.org

“Identifying uploaders (of such images) would require the creation of a totalitarian surveillance of the Net,” the group said.

Huh.

Last I heard, in America one is free to video as much violence as possible and post it all over the internet.

Land of the Free and Home of the Brave you stupid frogs:

Picture shamelessly stolen from The Coalition of the Swilling.

Dang, she’s cute:

I have wanted to write about Iraq for some time now, but work and life have conspired against me. What I am going to layout is how we got to where we are now in regards to Iraq. If you read this and feel the need to comment, please understand that I have no use for trolls or idiots, but if you want to leave a well reasoned comment, then be my guest. With that in mind, let’s dismiss a major myth about the Iraq War.

Myth: Bush manipulated intelligence about Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD’s) to make it seem that Iraq was an “imminent threat”.

Before you fly into a blind rage and start screaming “YES HE DID! YES HE DID!” you may want to consider some facts. A few inconvenient truths, if you will. The vast majority of the world believed Saddam had WMD’s and that, given a chance, he would use them again. This includes almost every industrialized nation on the face of the earth, both houses of Congress, the former President and every major intelligence agency in the world. Don’t believe me? Just read old President Clinton’s own speech on Iraq from December 16, 1998. Here are a few choice bits:

Their mission is to attack Iraq’s nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors.
—
Saddam Hussein must not be allowed to threaten his neighbors or the world with nuclear arms, poison gas or biological weapons
—
The international community had little doubt then, and I have no doubt today, that left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will use these terrible weapons again.
—
This situation presents a clear and present danger to the stability of the Persian Gulf and the safety of people everywhere
—
First, without a strong inspection system, Iraq would be free to retain and begin to rebuild its chemical, biological and nuclear weapons programs in months, not years.
—
And mark my words, he will develop weapons of mass destruction. He will deploy them, and he will use them.

Still don’t get it? Well just read down this veritable Who’s Who of Democratic leaders to see their positions on Iraq.

See, the problem with those who cry that Bush mislead them is that they have no evidence. Did the administration “sex up” some reports to bolster their case? Probably. But Clinton probably did too. Both administrations were looking at the same data. Clinton looked at the data in 1998 and came to the same conclusions that Bush came to looking at the data in early 2002. I tell you, for a simpleton, that Bush is an evil genius. So, you want me to believe that Bush manipulated intelligence, the same stuff Clinton used, to reach the same conclusion Clinton reached in 1998? Right.

So where did the WMD’s go? Don’t know. My guess is that Russia spirited them away via Syria before the beginning of the war to conceal their involvement in reconstituting Iraq’s weapons program. Or it could be a case of the Emperor Has No Clothes, in which Saddam did not have much of a weapons program after the Gulf War but his advisers/ministers/scientists kept him in the dark to save their heads and to keep their jobs.

Anyway, my main point is not this, but I know I will be hit in the comments by people bringing this up. If you cannot read and see that Bush used the same intel as Clinton, then you are an idiot and there is no point in you reading any further.

In order to go on, you have to accept as fact that as far as the world knew prior to the invasion, Saddam had an active WMD program and was just itching to get out from under UN sanctions so he could kick it into high gear.

If you can not accept this, then go back and re-read the first part of my post. If you still have problems, you may need professional help.

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It looks like Spring has finally come to South Georgia. Given that we had spring like conditions back in January and then a hard freeze in February, I was surprised that anything survived to bloom this year. The Azaleas look pretty pitiful, but the dogwood trees and Bradford pear trees are amazing.

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Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you, you have a long history of rising above adversity.  Recent adversity has led to questions about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a number of tourists and admirers.  And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good meal whenever it’s called for.  Good enough to make people cry.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

So, umm…yeah….about that….*cough*…look I have put my past behind me. Now I look to the future!!!

Be honest and go with your first result, but it is very amusing to go back and see the other countries you could have been. I ended up as Libya once…

So, what country are you?

From Rob over at File It Under.

This is probably very old and I am sure it has made the rounds across the Internet, but it still struck me as funny. Besides, I ain’t go nuttin’ else.

Cats vs Dogs:

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe, for now……….

Ouch…

So anyway…WunderKid3 fell off the recliner on Tuesday. Our guess is she was playing “horsey” on the arm of the chair and fell off. She cried and favored her arm a bit that day, but by the time I got home, she was fine. We went to ball practice and while at practice, she fell running to WunderWife. She started crying and holding the same arm.

WunderWife took her to the emergency room to get her checked out. After three hours of waiting, she came back home. WunderKid3 was running and jumping and using her arm and was generally acting like she was in tiptop shape. All day yesterday she was fine. She played and ran and acted like herself. So, we figured she must have jammed/sprained her wrist or something.

Well today I get a call from WunderWife that WunderKid3 had tripped and fallen and was holding her arm again. This time she took her to the Urgent Care place. An X-ray confirmed a broken bone in her arm. It was not bad. So WunderWife then took her to the Orthopedic Dr to have the cast put on. She is fine and doesn’t seem to think much of the cast, but tonight right before bed, she was pulling at it and looked at me and said, “Off Daddy”. It breaks your heart.

Geesh…two boys and it turns out to be my girl who needs the first cast.

Jeff over at The Shape of Days has a nice little post up about scheduling. I was going to write him an email explaining my situation and personal experience with scheduling, but as I thought through what I was going to write, I figured it was going to be a bit lengthy. So why not post it here? Besides, you people need something to read. And by people I mean the 5 people who don’t visit this site from a Google Image search.

So here it goes:

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Pink Floyd – Time

I am an engineer, so I am use to having schedules. Some schedules are grounded in reality, while many are of the “I needed it yesterday” variety. Some have fixed dates because of some event or because funding will run out or because of politics.

I have no problem trying to project out a time when I can get my project out to bid and when I expect it to be complete. Specific dates? Not so much. More of, I hope to have it out to bid by Spring and completed by Winter. That will do for me.

When I was working in the Private Sector, I had all three constraints: time, money and politics, but by and large we were able to give vague dates. If we were ever dumb enough to give a specific date that was too far out in the future, we usually had our butts chewed out because inevitably, we would be unable to meet it.

I now work for a Municipality and I am up against the same constraints. Until two years ago, I approached my projects like I had in the Private Sector. But then the City Commission got sold a bag of magic beans and things have not been the same since.

Let me give some background first.

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This is going to be long, so here is a teaser:

So that is why the letter I wrote yesterday is one of the most absurd letters I have ever written.

In writing my last post on schedules, I started thinking about another topic: Assumptions.

The same post over at The Shape of Days is what got me thinking about this topic.

I am a Civil Engineer. I know, I know, you already know that, but please be patient. See, it is possible that I could get a new reader in here….No really….stop laughing…. Anyway, as a Civil Engineer, one of the main things I deal with is storm drainage.

Some of you out there probably think that engineers are very technical, ridged people who follow precise formulas that give them exact answers…..*cough*….

Here is a dirty little secret: It is all in your assumptions.

One of my roommates in college was a Physics major. He would spend hours and hours doing homework problems that dealt with relativity, particle dynamics and other motion problems. He had one problem that dealt with a horse, his mass and velocity. I don’t remember the specifics, but he had to find the drag or some distance or something. He spent hours on it. When the professor went over the problem in class, he stated, “First, assume that the horse is a sphere…” The problem was then solved in 5 steps.

It’s all in your assumptions.

In storm drainage there are Rules of Thumb and more precise ways of quantifying the amount of runoff. Both give answers that are defendable in a court of law and they can give answers that are 25% off from one another. So which is right? They both are.

It’s all in your assumptions

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The little puppy is getting bigger:

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Well, not everyone…but enough to hurt my life time statistics.

See, I have been in NIMS training this week. You may remember my mind numbingly boring post from last June when we had to take some classes, but baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

NIMS 300 is oodles of fun!

Actually, I am in way over my head. If you are a Life Safety kind of person (Fire/PD/EMT) then this stuff is what you live and breath. But if you are just an engineer, this stuff makes about as much sense as my handwriting.

The best part is that the class is a hands on class. That means we are in groups with our very own Incident Commander (IC) and other important Section Chiefs and what not. We have to respond to various incidents and set up organizational charts and write Incident Action Plans! Yay!

Again, if you are a Life Safety person, this is what you do for your day job. Me? Not so much.

I see the importance of this type of training, but if you were to put me in charge…well…re-read the title of the post.

I have the utmost respect for Life Safety people. They get paid jack squat and put their lives on the line all the time. After I would read each scenario, I just wanted to shut down. The amount of things to think about and deal with for each incident is staggering. I just wanted to go home, have a cold, frosty beverage and forget about everything. But these people tackle the problems and make it look easy.

If you see a Firefighter, Police Officer, EMT or any other Life Safety person, give them a hug. It’s ok, they don’t bite much.

For me? One more day of this stuff.

I have never been a fan of poetry, but when it is read by James Earl Jones and acted out by Homer…

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Heh. I do love that episode.

The wife and I are heading out of town for a much needed break from day to day life around here. Her brother and his wife have graciously volunteered to watch the three WunderKids this weekend so we can have some time together.

So, where are we heading?

Savannah!

Due to the lateness of our travel plans, I had to get us a different hotel for each night. Tomorrow night it will your generic Holiday Inn, but tonight….

Tonight we stay at the wonderful River Street Inn.

Don’t worry, when I get back I will subject you to pictures of our wonderful getaway.

Later Gators.