General @ Wednesday December 17, 2008 01:57 pm by WunderKraut
As promised, here is my post on burrito eating techniques.
I’m sure techniques vary from region to region, but I feel that the following information forms a good all around fall back technique no matter where you find yourself munching a burrito.
Types of Burritos
There are many different types of burritos that you may encounter in your journey through life. It is important to know the strengths and weaknesses of each type so that you may prepare yourself to properly eat said burrito.
Let’s start with the “burritos” they typically serve at your local Mexican restaurant:
Notice something odd about this burrito? It is impossible to pick up and eat with your hands. This is nothing but a glorified enchilada without the corn tortilla. As is such, the proper way to eat this type of a burrito is with a fork. These can be very tasty burritos, but no real technique is required to enjoy them.
Next is the foil wrapped burrito:
This type of burrito can be found at hole in the wall burrito joints, national chains like Moes and other fine eating establishments.
Due to the foil wrapper, this type of burrito can and should be eaten with your hands. You may be tempted to open the foil and eat the burrito with a fork. But that would make you look like a fool and people will rightfully laugh at you. So don’t do that.
Finally, there is what I like to call your average, everyday burrito:
When you make burritos at home, they probably look like this. If you unwrapped your foil wrapped burrito, it would look like this. Similar to the foil wrapped burrito, this should be eaten with your hands.
Remember folks, unless the burrito is served like an enchilada, it is not only OK but normal to eat a burrito with your hands. See my point above about being made fun of. Don’t let that be you. If you don’t want to use your hands, order a salad.
The Physics of Eating
It may seem odd, but I feel it’s best to go over the basic physics of eating. Hey, I’m an engineer, what did you expect?
Think about how you eat. Namely, think about holding a roll and taking a bite.
If you take a bite of a roll, what happens? You open your mouth and your top and bottom teeth engage the roll. Next your jaw muscles work to shut your jaw. This creates a scissor like action between the top and the bottom teeth. The motion is finished when you pull the roll away which completes the cutting action of the teeth, leaving you a mouthful of roll to finish chewing.
I know…duh…
But look deeper. What happens to the roll when you take that bite? When you hold the roll you are apt to give it a slight squeeze when taking a bite. This is to ensure you have a firm grasp on the roll.
Also, since the roll is not rigid, the teeth do not have enough resistance to slice through the roll until the top and bottom teeth come together at the end of the bite. In essence, you are pinching off a bit of the roll.
Why is this important?
It’s important because when you eat non rigid things, you exert two forces on the food item. There is the force of the slight squeeze when you take a bit and there is the force of the teeth pinching the food.
It is this second force that is most critical when eating a burrito.
Allow me to explain with a few pictures. I can’t draw people but I can draw T-Rex’s, so I used them instead of people:
Step 1 – Open wide
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Step 2 – The bite. Pressure is exerted on the un-bitten portion
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Step 3 – Pressure travels through the remaining portion
Burrito Eating – Learn The Skilz, Live The Life
Hopefully you see where I’m heading with this. If not…
Anyway
When you eat an average, everyday burrito, it is like eating the roll in the above example. Since there is nothing rigid for your teeth to slice through, the burrito is pinched off by the teeth. This sends a pressure wave from the nibbled on portion through the rest of the burrito.
If the burrito is especially full or the tortilla is weak, this pressure wave can cause there to be a catastrophic tortilla wall failure or as I call it CTWF, which creates a giant mess.
Don’t think for a minute that having a foil wrapper around the burrito will prevent this. Yes, it must be admitted that the foil does add structural integrity to the tortilla walls, but unless you only peel back just enough for one bite, the failure can still take place at the junction of the tortilla and the peeled back foil.
How do you prevent such a failure?
After years and years of research, I have developed a nearly full proof method for preventing CTWF: create back pressure.
When you take a bite, close your lips around the burrito and suck in ever so slightly, creating a vacuum/back pressure. If you create too much back pressure, it will be like sucking a burrito up a straw…that is NOT what you are going for. What your goal should be is to equalize the pressure in the burrito. By slightly sucking in while taking a bite, you should be able to neutralize the pressure in the burrito, thereby reducing the threat of CTWF.
It takes a bit of practice, but once you get the hang of it, you will be shocked at how non-messing eating a burrito can be.
The office wants to go to Taco Bell? No fear, order that 7-layer burrito. Your shirt and pants will be stain free if you practice this simple technique.
Taking a date to the local burrito pit/jazz club? You should worry more about food poisoning than getting burrito guts all over you fly outfit.
Conclusion
Burritos are one of God’s gifts to mankind. Stuffed full of rice, beans, meat, sour cream, salsa, cheese and most importantly Guacamole, they are a thing of beauty and should not be feared.
So go out and eat to your hearts content!
32 Responses to “How To Eat A Burrito”
60 minutes or some other news magazine show should cover this exact topic.
This also should be a required freshman-level university mandated class(es).
Well done, sir.
required freshman-level university mandated class(es)
I like the way you think.
Would it violate rules of etiquette and engineering process if one just stuffed the whole thing in one’s mouth at once?
An illustrative guide of the proper steps of folding to optimize large objects in small space could be useful as an addendum to your paper. You could leave that as an exercise for the reader.
Actually, Anonymous, that is a great technique for when you get close to the end of the burrito. The chance for CTWF increases as the distance between the bite and the end of the burrito decreases.
So yes, by all means, shove that sucker in your mouth.
And as an added benefit of shoving the whole thing in your mouth, you can guarantee you won’t have to spend money on a second date.
Ah, but if she doesn’t mind, you may have found the girl of your dreams!!!!
Next date ask her how she feels about Star Wars, Star Trek, you living at home in your parents basement…you know standard stuff.
If she’s still cool with you, buy her the Princes Leia slave outfit from Return of the Jedi, if she will wear it…for the love of all that is holy, marry her!
Re: pressure equalization. This can be accomplished with a slight vacuum effect in the mouth if the burrito is small enough. God help you if you’re at, say, Chipotles.
For the mammoth burrito, recommend you use your hands not just to hold the burrito, but also to create the necessary counter-pressure. That doesn’t mean you squeeze on the burrito while taking a bite; you’d just make CTWF far more likely. Instead, between bites, you need to gently massage the contents toward the front.
Good point Sobek.
I miss Moes. We have one here, but the closest is across town so we never make it there. My favorite was to get the steak fajitas. The absolute best thing about Moes is their hot sauces. Their medium sauce has a flavor to die for.
Another issue is tortilla saturation. The longer you wait to eat your burrito, the more the juices will penetrate and, as a result, weaken the burrito wall, making CTWF more likely. Someone needs to do a chart showing burrito break points which includes variables for tortilla thickness and filling liquidity.
Man, thank you. I have always had trouble with this. Now that I understand the physics behind CTWF, I will be able to counteract it.
You are my hero.
I try
WunderKraut
Just wondering…
• How long have you been eating burritos?
• How long did it take you, or if failing that, how many burritos did it take to male this amazing discovery?
A moron wanting to know.
I had a friend who worked as an assistan manager at a Taco Bell. Noting how so many of their burritos at that store experienced Catastrophic Burrito Bottom Failure, I asked him once if he and the other workers there slit a tiny hole in the bottom of their burritos.
“Yep,” he said. “Especially when it’s a drive thru order.”
The bastard!
David,
I’ve been an avid consumer of burritos since I was but a tiny lad living in Southern California (Mission Viejo).
I stumbled on this technique many years ago. The thing is, I never consciously thought about what I was doing. It was more of an instinct.
I believe I was born with a special understanding of burrito physiology and as such have an innate ability grasp concepts of burrito consumption which elude the average person.
Gabriel…I KNEW IT!!!!
Hey – congrats on the sidebar link from Ace! It’s a reverse “I Wish I Had Written That.” Good times.
The two main factors contributing to Catastrophic Burrito Failure are, ultimately, the bursting strength of the wrap material, and the all important end fold.
If the material is that new age hippie crap(green/red/yellow- what’s that all about?), the burrito will fail. The best material known to modern science is the original flour and lard tortilla.
Never to be overlooked is proper folding technique. One makes a single overlap of the contents lengthwise, then, and only then, you must fold the free end flap no less than 12.5% of the overall length. Then continue to finish roll the burrito.
These standards have been submitted to ISO for certification.
Regards
JPB III PHD
SR.Burrito Scientist
International Burrito Institute
Oh man, that’s funny.
Yeah, I overlooked the end fold…I hate when the botch that….
Also, man I wish I were a Burrito Scientist…I’d even settle for being a Jr Burrito Scientist…
I want business cards!
When you take a bit, close your lips around the burrito and suck in ever so slightly, creating a vacuum/back pressure.
Dude, you are getting seriously kinky in your old age.
Since there will be no Arena Football this year, I think you ought to pitch the idea of co-ed competitive burrito-eating contests using your proven scientific method to ESPN to fill up their airtime…this could be huge.
Heh
A few questions for the Burrito elite:
So, what is the tensile strength of a flour & lard tortilla (and how much plastic deformation happens before failure)?
Does a warm tortilla have an increased load capacity, or is it simply for user hand comfort?
Obviously, too much burrito juice can bring about premature CTWF, but is it possible that a slight amount of moisture might re-invigorate the gluten strands of a flour tortilla enough to actually increase the edible wrapper’s elasticity? I’m guessing the optimal moisture content is reached between the first and second scoop of corn salsa.
This is soooo, I can’t even comment….
I prefer to pre-stress my burrito by gently squeezing the burrito before biting. Then releasing the pressure as I bite. This elimates the chance of “trying to suck a burrito througha straw”, and achieves the same result of displacing excess fillings.
A heated/steamed tortilla has better elastic properties. A cold tortilla is very brittle. If this is because of the heat acting on the gluten, I don’t know.
We need more funds to conduct more in depth research.
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i have been employing this technique for years, i just was unaware of the physics of it. thanks for the enlightening step-by-step. i also now know what to order for my lunch today…
Well done! This site is so educational. DH doesn’t ask me, “What is so funny?” anymore, he just walks in and says, “So, what is he talking about today?” Thank you WunderKraut.
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